I missed out on so much...

Item #1: from the IMDB...When Madonna arrived in Malawi last month she was amazed to discover her name took on a whole different meaning for all the people she met. The "Hung Up" singer has sparked furious debate after adopting David Banda towards the end of her stay in the African country - and began to wonder why locals knew her name when they had no idea of her superstar status. She says, "People started to say my name and they had never heard of Madonna. And, in Chichewa, the word 'madonna' means 'distinguished white lady', so I think they got very confused."
In a nutshell: "distinguished white lady"? Yeah, I can definitely see how that would confuse them.

Item #2: Neil Patrick Harris revealed that he is indeed a homosexual.In a nutshell: Unlike Mark Foley, he did not need to guise it under molestation or alcoholism. That said, Doogie Howser's computer journal might have given Mark Foley a few too many ideas about sharing emotions with a computer.

Item #3: Saddam Hussein sentenced to death by hangingIn a nutshell: This is commendable on one count, hanging, if done properly, is probably far more humane than any method of execution used in the United States. As for it being a product of the invasion force...you're damn right it is, and the trial was such a mockery as to be pointless. A fair trial might well have come out to the same conclusions and would have secured no more of Saddam Hussein's cooperation, in fact, it would have been impossible. But what they think they're going to accomplish by martyring him, I don't know. Enjoy your civil war, I hope our people aren't forced to fight it.

Item #4: Man, isn't it interesting that all the people who spread their message that homosexuality is sick and perverse are in fact, sick perverts who are homosexuals?In a nutshell: This is the Roy Cohn generation. Ted Haggard, Mark Foley, who's next, Fred Phelps? Bob Dornan? Jim McGreevey ranked high on the creepy scale when there were conversations about his affair, but he at least wasn't campaigning to stamp out his own existence.

Item #5: The Army Times says it's time for Rumsfeld to goIn a nutshell: Let me assure you that the "independent" publication is nonetheless not that independent. These are papers that are published for people in the military, and it really shows. Whether it's the Air Force Times or the local military newspaper (in Bellevue, it was the Air Pulse), these are not papers that are going to go out on liberal limbs that are going to make news very often.

Item #6: Comcast needs to learn how to write headlinesComcast's Headline: Renowned Screenwriter Schrader DiesIn a nutshell: Paul Schrader ( writer of, among other films, Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, The Last Temptation of Christ, and writer/director of Hardcore and Affliction) is, in fact, still alive. His brother, Leonard Schrader, has died. Paul Schrader is one of the most renowned screenwriters (though, in my opinion, he's living on borrowed time and has done nothing since 1980) and writers on the subject of film in the world. His brother, on the other hand, may be renowned to some, but I can count the people I know who have seen Kiss of the Spider Woman on one hand, probably a hand with no more than two fingers. It's not that Leonard Schrader isn't renowned, it's that I don't think there's a person in the country who would think of him first when reading that headline that wasn't personally aware of his death.