Friday, January 21, 2011

Thomas Wolfe was right.

Well, the point was that you can't go home again. But he also wrote "Look Homeward, Angel", so he's just a contradictory asshole, isn't he?

Anyway, for those who aren't attuned to the current course of events, I'm starting a new job next week and am going to have to move. On the plus side, I'm moving out of Delaware. On the down side, I HATE moving. Plus, I have a lot of things in this place that I don't know why I still have. Among the things I found was a box full of papers and things I wrote in high school. Rather than belabor the truly astonishingly level of pathetic that was unearthed among the dozen partly-written screenplays and notes from people I don't even remember, I will share something that, judging by my handwriting, was written in high school. That said, I don't ever remember writing it and still find it amusing. Actually, to clarify, I'm not sure whether I find it funny or whether I find the fact that at some point I felt it necessary to pen it funny.

So I present to you:
God's Hood - The Ten Commandments
1. Thou shalt not be frontin' wit me, cause I am yo God! Thou shalt not be givin' the coin to nobody but me.
2. Thou shalt honor yo mama and yo daddy, as if you even knew him, cuz you a bastard.
3. Thou shalt check thyself before thy wreck thyself.
4. Thou shalt be sharin' hits from da bong with yo tokin' brothas.
5. Thou shalt be lovin' thy day off from bustin' caps.
6. Don't be wastin' thy brothas, bitch.
7. Thou shalt not be jackin' things from yo brotha's crib.
8. Thou shalt not be ballin' some other man's wife bitch; ice the brotha first.
9. Thou shalt not be covetin' no goods, even if yo neighbor's an ol' dirty bastard.
10. Thou shalt not even be wantin' yo brotha's bitch, even though she be all over you, dude.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Stream of consciousness

I've decided I'm going to try something new, which is to set my IPod on random and then let whatever song it picks cause me to write something in response for the period that the song is going on (if it goes longer, so be it).

The Ipod has decided this is going to be a challenge, because it picked Portishead - Silence. I don't know the song well, I believe I got it from a CD a friend of mine sent me along with The Go! Team and something else (possibly Camera Obscura).  Portishead strikes me as a band I'd really like to like, but like the Chemical Brothers before it, it's not something I can generally get into, although I should make considerably greater use of techno-ish music on runs.  The Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up" and Propellerheads' "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" were both on my marathon playlist if I recall correctly (I'm certain about the latter, which is the perfect marathon song since it's 9 minutes long). Portishead isn't prefect for such things, the harrowing sort of vocal line on this song isn't the kind of adrenaline and endorphin dump that I'm looking for, but the drum loops could carry the day by themselves.

Of course, IPod. Now you play "The Book I Write" by Spoon. Well, I managed to time the last one so I wrote for the exact duration of the song previous.  For this song, it's a much easier task.  Stranger Than Fiction (the soundtrack from which the song is taken) is one of my favorite movies, easily in the top 10 of the last decade for me and probably higher if I were to concoct such a list.  Considering the paucity of movies I've seen since I went to law school, this is hardly putting it in a pantheon, though I think it belongs there.  I suspect Stranger Than Fiction might have been the first movie I saw by myself in Delaware after moving here.  Immediately after seeing it, I went out and bought the soundtrack and have since bought a half dozen Spoon albums. Good choice, Ipod.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Report: McNabb at fault for another Eagles playoff defeat

As the seconds ticked away and put an end to the Green Bay Packers' upset victory over the Philadelphia Eagles in the wild card round of the NFL playoffs Sunday, Philadelphia sports fans blamed a familiar figure for the Eagles' failure: quarterback Donovan McNabb. Although fans disagreed in how directly McNabb was responsible for the defeat the directness of McNabb's responsibility for the defeat,they were uniformly in agreement that he was to blame.

Some fans, apparently confused by the on-field presence of a quarterback other than Kevin Kolb, accused McNabb of quarterbacking the Eagles to the defeat. "McNabb played horribly yesterday," said Frank Lawton, 39, a pipe-fitter from Bala Cynwyd, PA. "That interception at the end was classic McNabb. I think we all knew what was coming. He may have changed his number on the field, but he hasn't changed his losing attitude."

Some fans, while acknowledging that McNabb was nominally not a member of the Eagles, still found a way to blame McNabb for the defeat.

"Listen, when they traded McNabb, they got back a 2nd round pick. If McNabb had been any good, we could have gotten a real player in return, not just Nate Allen. Just imagine -- if McNabb had been any good, we could have drafted Eric Berry or even Tim Tebow," said Gary Logan, an HVAC salesman from West Chester, PA. "With a guy like that, we'd be in the Super Bowl."

Still others blamed McNabb's effect on the locker room as the reason for another disappointing season.

"McNabb's attitude was brought down the team. They got used to his attitude of losing and that's what keeps them failing in the playoffs year after year. No matter who's actually playing quarterback, every time they lose, you can see that McNabb look in their eyes," said Richard Graham, a talk show host on local sports radio station WPH.

Not even Michael Vick, the Eagles' quarterback who actually threw the game-sealing interception with 33 seconds left in the game, was immune to the contempt for the six-time Pro Bowler.

"Listen, I've always loved Donovan, he's a great guy and has been a good friend. But, man, I hate Donovan McNabb. That guy has let this team down so many times. And worst of all, I can't believe he killed all those dogs," Vick added.

While many Eagles fans blame McNabb, he is not without his supporters.

"McNabb? Who's that?" said Joseph Harris, a retiree from Pennsauken, New Jersey. "All I have to say is that Randall Cunningham was awful yesterday. They should get rid of that no-good bum."