Friday, January 21, 2011

Thomas Wolfe was right.

Well, the point was that you can't go home again. But he also wrote "Look Homeward, Angel", so he's just a contradictory asshole, isn't he?

Anyway, for those who aren't attuned to the current course of events, I'm starting a new job next week and am going to have to move. On the plus side, I'm moving out of Delaware. On the down side, I HATE moving. Plus, I have a lot of things in this place that I don't know why I still have. Among the things I found was a box full of papers and things I wrote in high school. Rather than belabor the truly astonishingly level of pathetic that was unearthed among the dozen partly-written screenplays and notes from people I don't even remember, I will share something that, judging by my handwriting, was written in high school. That said, I don't ever remember writing it and still find it amusing. Actually, to clarify, I'm not sure whether I find it funny or whether I find the fact that at some point I felt it necessary to pen it funny.

So I present to you:
God's Hood - The Ten Commandments
1. Thou shalt not be frontin' wit me, cause I am yo God! Thou shalt not be givin' the coin to nobody but me.
2. Thou shalt honor yo mama and yo daddy, as if you even knew him, cuz you a bastard.
3. Thou shalt check thyself before thy wreck thyself.
4. Thou shalt be sharin' hits from da bong with yo tokin' brothas.
5. Thou shalt be lovin' thy day off from bustin' caps.
6. Don't be wastin' thy brothas, bitch.
7. Thou shalt not be jackin' things from yo brotha's crib.
8. Thou shalt not be ballin' some other man's wife bitch; ice the brotha first.
9. Thou shalt not be covetin' no goods, even if yo neighbor's an ol' dirty bastard.
10. Thou shalt not even be wantin' yo brotha's bitch, even though she be all over you, dude.

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