Accurate Perception Syndrome

So I'm trying to get a psychological disorder that I've discovered (and named after myself, of course) into DSM-V when it comes out. DSM-IV launched Asperger's, autism, and ADHD into the realm of super popular diseases. I think I should do the same for cynicism.

TK's Disease or Accurate Perception Syndrome is a crippling psychological disorder that is associated with a bleak worldview and the belief that whatever foods will help keep you from becoming obese will ultimately give you cancer, and those things that don't give you cancer will give you heart disease or an increased likelihood of being hit by a bus or shot by a tea party activist. It, like life, is invariably fatal.